Relationship Corner by Dr. Gary Chapman - Service in Your Family

In Bill Bennett’s bestselling The Book of Virtues, he lists work as one of the top ten virtues. Most historians agree that Western culture was built on the work ethic. In the family, much work needs to be done. Clothes must be washed, beds need to be made, food has to be prepared, trash must be stashed. Animals must be fed, cars must be washed, and grass must be mowed.

Who does all of this work in your family? Ideally it is shared by the husband, wife, and children. But the more important question is “With what attitude do you work?” If the road to greatness is serving others, then such work gives me a chance to aspire to greatness.

The Desire to Serve
In a healthy family, members have the sense that as they do something for the benefit of other family members, they are doing something genuinely good - almost noble. Individuals have an internal desire to serve, and an emotional sense of satisfaction with a job done for others. In a highly functional family, there develops the sense that service to others is one of life’s highest callings.

I believe that such an attitude of service must begin with the parents. If Dad is doing things to make Mom’s life easier, and Mom is serving Dad, it won’t be long until the kids want to get in on the fun. For those who don’t know where to start, let me suggest the following question: “What could I do for you this evening?”

The Hallmark of Greatness
In every vocation, those who truly excel are those who have a genuine desire to serve others. The most notable physicians view their vocation as a calling to serve the sick and diseased. Truly great politicians see themselves as “public servants." The greatest of all educators seeks to help the student reach his or her potential.

It is no different in the family. It is in giving our lives to each other that we all become winners. The scriptures say, “Give and it shall be given unto you.” They never say, “Demand and people will do what you demand.” The fact is, most people do not respond well to demands. But few people will reject loving service.

The hallmark of greatness is not the accumulation of wealth, nor the gaining of powerful positions. The hallmark of greatness is service to others.

There are five love languages. What's yours? Take the 30-second quiz.

Excerpt taken from The Family You've Always Wanted: Five Ways You Can Make it Happen by Dr. Gary Chapman. To find out more about Gary Chapman's resources, visit www.fivelovelanguages.com.