Leadership Corner by Dr. John C. Maxwell - Communicating With Character

A well-known proverb says the following about communication:

"It's not what you say, but how you say it."

The proverb is deservedly well known. Delivery has an enormous impact on our ability to connect with an audience. Authors Dan and Chip Heath have written a bestseller, Made to Stick, devoted to helping leaders land their ideas in the minds and memories of listeners. Applying tips such as simplicity, emotional appeal, and storytelling to our communication reaps huge dividends.

An extension to the communication proverb, says:

"It's not only what you say, and how you say it, but also when you say it."

True enough. Timing plays a vital role in the way we communicate. Awareness of emotions, mood, and context all factor into effective communication. Given the nature of their roles, salespeople have no choice but to understand this added dimension of communication. A sales pitch delivered at an opportune moment seals the deal, but the same appeal falls flat if inserted at the wrong time.

Even if we're not in sales, we know the value of timing from personal experience. In the emotional aftermath of failure, well-intentioned criticism feels like a punch in the mouth. However, the same criticism received after we've had a chance to cool down is readily welcomed.

Delivery impacts our communication, and so does timing, but in this edition of Leadership Wired, I'd like to take the communication proverb one step further.

"It's not just what you say, how you say it, and when you say it, but also who says it."

For a leader, communication involves more than presentations and speechmaking. It's not an event, but rather a skill. A leader's daily behavior screams to those he or she leads. Does the leader have a track record of honesty? If so, his words carry the weight of trust. Does a leader take the time to listen? If not, she will be tuned out—regardless of a silver tongue. Is a leader likeable? If so, he predisposes people to be open and receptive to communication.

In the remainder of this lesson, let's examine the communication benefits a leader wins day by day through consistency of character.

1) Honor Your Agreements - Communication Benefit: Trust

As a leader, never make promises lightly, and when you do, go the extra mile to honor your word. If your actions consistently match your words, you'll gain an incredible communication asset—trust. I guarantee that following through on your commitments will 1) Involve a high personal cost 2) Be inconvenient 3) Be worth every sacrifice.

2) Display Emotion - Communication Benefit: Authenticity

Don't be the Tin Man on the job. Have a heart. Try not to wear it on your sleeve, but allow it to infect your workdays with passion. People suspect an emotionless leader of being only partially invested in the mission. Allowing glimpses of your joys and sorrows will endow your communication with authenticity. People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care.

3) Embody Values - Communication Benefit: Credibility

In the 21st century, cream-of-the-crop employees are not looking for a place to work; they're searching for a cause to join. They'll be attracted to strong values, but they'll be put off if they don't see you modeling them. Be purposeful in acting out your core values and giving them visibility. When people see you insist on values and fight for what you believe, they will find you credible. In communication, this credibility inclines your people to accept your words.

4) Be Generous with Praise - Communication Benefit: Likeability

Here's a foolproof way to measure your leadership: how do you make people feel? Being generous with praise is the best way to win others to your side. People naturally want to be appreciated, and they crave encouragement, so, by all means, don't withhold your praise from them.

Credit them when they do well. Appoint yourself as head cheerleader, chief supporter, and number one fan of your people. They'll admire you for it, and you'll gain the advantage of likeability when you communicate to them.

5) Listen - Communication Benefit: Respect

There's no quicker way to earn respect than being slow to speak. Give your people a forum to express their ideas, frustrations, and observations. Better yet, inquire of them. Solicit their input and feedback. When they speak, show you've heard them. Implement their ideas when possible, and candidly explain yourself when you cannot act upon their suggestions. Follow through, follow through, and follow through. Listening isn't passive. It requires you to take notice, take notes, and take action.

If you've proved to be a leader who listens, then your people will respect your words. If you've shown openness to them, they'll be infinitely more receptive to the messages you send and the guidance you give.

Relationship Corner by Dr. Gary Chapman - Trouble in Paradise Part 2 of 2

Keeping Love Alive
Last week we talked about bringing two lives together in harmony. Keep your love alive after the honeymoon. There will be times in your relationship where, instead of sharing your feelings and trying to resolve differences, you'll be tempted to ask yourself, “Why bother?” Don’t make that mistake. Maintaining communication with your spouse will take patience and persistence.

Never assume that silence or indifference is preferable to conflict. It’s not. As long as you and your spouse are interacting and trying to resolve your differences, there’s hope. When you stop talking, hope dies. Keep your relationship on the front burner. Neglect your relationship and you'll poison your intimacy. It is by talking and listening that we learn to work together as a team, and that’s what a growing marriage is all about.

Which Wedges Divide You and Your Spouse?
Get rid of potential wedges in your relationship. A relationship wedge is anything that has the potential to drive you and your spouse apart. The first and most dangerous wedge is pride--specifically, the pride that keeps you from apologizing. Pride turns simple misunderstandings into long-term problems.

Other potential wedges include negative input from friends and family, overbooked schedules, and indifference. You probably won’t be able to remove all the wedges from your relationship, but you can remove enough to give your love a chance to grow.

Another way to create a better climate is to look for positive things in your spouse. Your spouse may have traits and hidden talents that you knew nothing about before you were married. Look for these things and compliment your spouse. You can create a better atmosphere if you use positive words. Find the goodness in your spouse and proclaim it loudly, especially in front of other people.

There are five love languages. What's yours? Take the 30-second quiz.

Excerpt taken from The World's Easiest Guide to Family Relationships by Dr. Gary Chapman, with Randy Southern. To find out more about Gary Chapman's resources, visit www.fivelovelanguages.com.

Salesmanship Corner By Bryan Flanagan - Three Principles of Cross-Selling/ Up-Selling

Earlier this year, one of my clients conducted a customer satisfaction survey. The number one response was, “I want a knowledgeable salesperson helping me.” I asked my client how she was interpreting that response. She said that she thought it meant that more training was needed in the area of product knowledge.

I suggested that she study the surveys a bit more. The reason for this suggestion is that most salespeople can learn product knowledge on their own by studying and/or using the products. They can read a user’s manual. They can observe other salespeople selling the product or service. In other words, salespeople can learn product knowledge by themselves.

Most salespeople don’t need more product knowledge.

What most salespeople need is more knowledge about the prospect and his or her needs, issues, and challenges. If the salesperson took the time to uncover the true concerns of the prospect, he or she would know what features of the product to demonstrate. He or she could then communicate the value, advantages, and benefits that would most serve the prospect’s needs and solve his or her problems.

Salespeople who live off the “low hanging fruit” never seem to develop the skills necessary to uncover the true concerns of the prospect. These individuals aren’t skilled in identifying the specific needs of the prospect. These types of sales individuals just take the easy sales (hence, the low hanging fruit) and move on to the next tree. You can make a sale that way but you can’t build a profession that way. You must learn to probe for needs so that you can truly serve your prospects. You must learn to climb the tree so that you can satisfy more of the prospect’s needs. Once you have acquired those skills, you can better sell more of your products and services to meet more of the prospect’s needs.

This is referred to as “cross-selling” and/or “up-selling.” It is also referred to as “selling deep.” That is, selling deeply into the prospect’s true needs and wants. Yes, you have to meet their recognized needs, but you should also attempt to determine the deeper needs that the prospect may have. Oftentimes, the prospect has a need but has not yet realize it is a true need.

Let’s illustrate this with a health care industry example. A patient has an appointment with his physician. It’s his annual check-up. All the patient wants is a physical exam so he can get on with his day. The doctor asks a few probing questions and determines that there may be some concerns. The doctor then “goes deep” into the family history, recent illnesses, etc. Instead of just a visit, the doctor suggests a full work-up including stress test, blood work, and EKG. By going “deep” the doctor is better serving his patient’s needs.

You can use this in any industry. Retail salespeople understand this concept. A man walks into a clothing store searching for a tie. Some sales people would just sell the tie or attempt to sell additional ties. However, the experienced sales professional will sell deep by asking and listening, linking benefits to needs, and seeing the buyer’s side of things. The customer leaves with a new suit. Why? Because the sales professional asked enough questions to determine the true needs, issues, and challenges to “up-sell” the customer. Another example: A husband and wife need financial protection because they have just delivered their first child. A true sales professional will ask about all the financial needs of the couple. Insurance, disability, and college funds may be discussed because the salesperson probed for present day needs as well as future financial needs.

Here are three principles on cross-selling and up-selling. Remember, these principles only work if you do!

1. Ask and listen. In its simplest form, selling is nothing more than asking and listening. Yes, it is not any more complicated than that. Keep it simple. Learn to take the attention off yourself and focus it where it belongs --- on the prospect. In order to determine additional needs, you must learn to be a skilled questioner. These questions should be high-gain and high-impact questions. That is, they should solicit the real needs of the prospect. You could ask, “If you could receive more productivity at a lower cost, would you buy from me?” However, a more powerful question is, “If you could receive more productivity at a lower cost, what is the benefit to you?” This second question will allow you to drill down deeper into the needs of the prospect. Perhaps there are additional needs that the prospect has not voiced to you yet. This question may identify the real benefits that the prospect is seeking.
2. Link your products and services to the prospect’s challenges. This takes work. It also requires discipline. It is easy to move into your own “comfort zone” without any regard for the prospect’s “buying zone.” In order to move out of your comfort zone you must really focus on the needs of the prospect. You achieve this by asking the right questions to determine the deeper needs. You then communicate your solutions by linking to his or her personal benefits. By making your prospect’s life easier, increasing his or her personal effectiveness, and/or providing a path for individual recognition, you are linking to personal benefits. By doing so, you have a better chance of “up-selling” this prospect. Remember, your prospects desire what your products and services will do for them. They aren’t concerned about what your products do unless you can link what your products accomplish for him or her.
3. Use the P-P-O-V Formula. This stands for “Prospect’s Point Of View.” In order to be successful in selling deep, you must focus on the other person and on his or her needs. By asking the right questions and by linking your solutions to his or her benefits, you have a better chance of understanding the PPOV. Don’t hesitate to ask “hard questions.” These may include questions such as:

“Once that need is met, what needs will you have in the future?”

“In addition to that concern, what other challenges are you facing?”

“What steps are in place for you to reach your future goals?”

It may be uncomfortable for you to ask those questions. However, the information you receive from those questions will allow you to better “cross-sell” or “up-sell” to the prospect’s needs.

Well, there you have it: three specific principles to assist you in selling deeper into the prospect’s needs. Remember, these principles only work if you do.

Now, go sell somebody something!

Bryan Flanagan is our Director of Corporate Training. Bryan has served Ziglar clients since 1984. His programs can make your sales force “more dangerous than they are now!” Contact him at bflanagan@ziglar.com or call him at 972.383.3285.

Salesmanship Corner By Zig Ziglar - Motivation

Motivation is important - not permanent. I am frequently asked the question, "Why is it that some people get really motivated after listening to you, but after a while slip back into their old, negative ways?" The question really is, "Is motivation permanent?" The answer is no - but then neither is bathing. Now, just in case you think I'm encouraging you not to bathe, let me assure you that I believe in bathing. As a matter of fact, I shower every day and I generally get a real good long one with lots of soap and shampoo. I do some of my best thinking in the shower. The reason I shower every day is very simple: There's lots of dirt out there and if some of it gets on me I want to get it off. I believe it's important to smell good - or at least not bad.

I apply the same principle to my thinking and daily motivation. There is a lot of "stinking thinking" available in life today and if I'm not careful some of it will settle on me. If too much of it hits me, then the stinkin' thinkin' might turn into hardening of the attitudes, one of the most deadly diseases in America today. Life has so many negatives and demotivations that it takes effort to stay motivated. To remain motivated I've got to deliberately plan to take care of my thinking each day with a "check-up from the neck up." Each day I read and listen to something inspiring. I also associate with people who are making a difference with their lives because we are influenced by our associates, either positively or negatively. Message: Read something good, listen to something good, and associate with good people as often as possible. Do these things and your thinking will remain good, which means that I will SEE YOU AT THE TOP!

Zig Ziglar is a motivator and teacher. He is the author of 26 books and loved by millions of people world wide for his practical wisdom and his gift of hope.

Relationship Corner by Dr. Gary Chapman - Trouble in Paradise Part 1 of 2

If you entered marriage believing that you could merge lives effortlessly, the first thing you need to do is change your expectations. The truth is, living together requires many adjustments.

Remember this is not like trying to put up with a college roommate or the person splitting the rent in your apartment, where you can choose to ignore minor irritations or strange habits until the end of the lease. This is your life partner, the one you vowed to stay with until death. And not just stay together, but build an intimate relationship. This week we'll talk about bringing two lives together in harmony.

It's the Little Things
You found out he snores like a lumberjack. She squeezes the toothpaste in the middle. He thinks Burger King and laser tag are the ingredients of a romantic evening. She sings the wrong lyrics to every song on the radio.

The key to working through such irritations is to keep them in their proper perspective. Don’t let small things become big problems. Remind yourself that these are not life threatening problems. If we can find solutions, fine. If not, we can live with them. Here’s a plan for requesting change. Tell your spouse three things you like about them and then make one request. For example: “If possible, could you please get the hairs out of the sink when you finish?” I'll advise you not to request change more than once every two weeks.

Where's my "Happily Ever After?"
Too many couples view marriage as the finish line of their relationship. They work and work to make it to their wedding day, then sit back and wait for “happily ever after” to begin. If doing nothing is your strategy for keeping love alive in your relationship, you’re in trouble. The wedding is the first step, not the final one. To make your relationship work over the long haul, you need to put the same kind of time, energy, and effort into it after the wedding that you did when you were dating.

Do you remember some of the things you did when dating? Did you give gifts? Did you speak to each other kindly? Maybe it’s time to ask your spouse, "Of all the things that I did when we were dating, which would you most like for me to do now?"

In Part 2 of Trouble in Paradise next week, we'll talk about keeping love alive after the honeymoon and getting rid of relationship wedges.

There are five love languages. What's yours? Take the 30-second quiz.

Excerpt taken from The World's Easiest Guide to Family Relationships by Dr. Gary Chapman, with Randy Southern. To find out more about Gary Chapman's resources, visit www.fivelovelanguages.com.

Leadership Corner by Dr. John C. Maxwell - Thought Busters

The power of thought is indisputably great. For illustration, look at the life of Henry David Thoreau, a 19th-century Massachusetts philosopher.

In 1849, Thoreau, as a relatively unknown scholar, published his thoughts in a controversial essay about civil disobedience. The essay expressed his ideas about justice:

• Not all laws are just.
• A person should respect justice more than the law.
• Without resorting to violence, a person of conscience is justified to transgress the law to protest its injustice.

Thoreau's thoughts, as the basis for nonviolent resistance, would end up fueling two of the greatest social advancements of the 20th century - Ghandi's struggle to free India from Britain's colonial rule and the American Civil Rights Movement led by Martin Luther King, Jr.

THOUGHTS ABOUT THINKING

Thoughts never begin fully formed.

Have you ever looked through a microscope? At first glance, the image appears blurry and indistinct. However, after adjusting the lens, the image comes into focus, and you can see with remarkable clarity.

When thoughts enter my mind, they are hazy and disordered, much like the initial image seen through a microscope. I have to fine-tune my thoughts by dwelling upon them, and connecting them to other thoughts I've had. It takes awhile for me to wrestle with a thought before its merit becomes clear.

Thoughts take time to develop their potential.

I am not a naturally brilliant thinker. My mind doesn't overflow with out-of-the-box creativity. However, I do leverage experiences to stretch my thoughts. I have found that reflection turns my experience into insight. At the close of each day, I'll review important lessons I've learned. I'll mine failure until I've gained a nugget of wisdom, or I'll consider how the day's events validated or invalidated one of my ideas. Through time, evaluating my experiences helps my thoughts to expand and mature.

Thoughts take others to develop their potential.

Alone, my thoughts are shallow and unexceptional. However, I am able to polish and refine them through my interactions with other leaders. I enhance my own thinking by piggybacking on the wisdom of friend and colleagues. In conversations or observations of their behavior, I strengthen and confirm my own inklings about leadership and life.

Each of us is trapped inside our own perspective and limited by blind spots and prejudices. If we isolate ourselves, we diminish our minds, and our thoughts atrophy.

We are wise to seek out others to test our assumptions and sharpen our thinking.

Thoughts are very fragile in the beginning.

Gardeners know the delicate nature of a newly planted seedling. To survive, the plant must receive nourishment and be protected from harsh winds, weeds, or hungry animas. Until its roots take hold and its stem grows, the seedling is vulnerable.

Likewise, our thoughts are fragile at first. They are endangered by pessimism, busyness, insecurity, forgetfulness, and a host of other threats. In the words of Bob Biehl, "Ideas are like soap bubbles floating in the air close to jagged rocks on a windy day."

In order to grow, our thoughts need careful attention and cultivation.

THOUGHT BUSTERS

Thoughts only reach their potential in a healthy environment. During my time as a leader, I've encountered the following environmental hazards, or thought busters, which threaten to destroy good thinking.

Criticism

When leaders pay any cost to ward off criticism, they sacrifice their best thoughts. In the words of Elbert Hubbard, "If you have something others don't have, know something others don't know, or do something others aren't doing, then, rest assured, you will be criticized." In my opinion, thinking requires boldness, the courage to be second-guessed, and readiness to endure conflict.

Lack of personal commitment to thinking

Taking action is by no means a negative quality in a leader. However, when a leader is all action, it's only a matter of time until he or she falls behind, steers off course, and surrenders the reins of leadership. I like Gordon MacDonald's appeal to mental fitness:

"In our pressurized society, people who are out of shape mentally usually fall
victim to ideas and systems that are destructive to the human spirit and to the
human relationship. They are victimized because they have not taught themselves
how to think, nor have they set themselves to the lifelong pursuit of growth of
the mind. Not having the faculty of a strong mind, they grow dependent upon the
thoughts and opinions of others."

As leaders, thinking keeps us in front. Before we shape the future, we must get our minds in shape.

Excuses

"I don't have enough time," has been my most common excuse to avoid thinking. However, blaming time constraints is not a legitimate excuse. After all, a great idea is one of the greatest commodities a person can own. Besides, by taking the time to think, we invent smarter ways to expend our energy and resources.

"I'm not creative," has been another excuse of mine. Of course, blaming my lack of creativity is actually a sorry excuse for being lazy. Thinking well isn't easy. It takes concentration, focus, and, most challenging of all, the discipline to stop moving for a few moments.

Salesmanship Corner By Zig Ziglar - Find a Need and Fill It

When I was in the seventh grade I was on the boxing team and later I boxed while in the Navy. I don't want to sound boastful, but it's a matter of record that the worst I ever finished was second. I finally quit boxing because of my hands - the referee kept stepping on them! As a boxer, the coach would always instruct us in the early part of the fight to feel our opponent out, probe and discover his weakness, and then exploit that weakness. The same basic procedure is followed in all athletic endeavors.

In the world of selling and business, a similar approach is taken but for a very different reason. In sales, we explore by asking questions to find out where our prospect "opponent" is weak, that is, needs help of some kind. Only then are we in position to offer our goods and services designed to "strengthen their weakness." To be successful, any business must provide goods or services that meet the weakness - that is, need - of the potential customers.

The oldest success advice going is, "Find a need and fill it." It is more true today than ever. Not only must we find the need and fill it, but we must find more needs and fill them better. That's one of the prime reasons more and more businesses are maximizing their people. Each one is crucial, from the lowest-paid member of the staff to the Chief Executive Officer. Businesses must encourage all their employees to find the needs of their customers, whether internal or external, and fill them. Each employee must have an attitude of responsibility for the company, its goods and services. This enhances the company's competitive edge, increases sales, and ensures employment for employees.

The rule today is keep your eyes open and think about solutions to problems. Your value to your company will grow immeasurably. Keep your eyes open and keep offering those suggestions. Who knows? Maybe the next one will be the magic one! Buy that idea and I'll SEE YOU AT THE TOP!

Zig Ziglar is a motivator and teacher. He is the author of 26 books and loved by millions of people world wide for his practical wisdom and his gift of hope.

Seberapa Warriorkah Anda ?

Seringkali orang berkata pada diri mereka masing - masing seperti ini," Saya sudah seperti ini...Emang dari sononya begitu""Saya sudah melakukan yang terbaik, gak bisa lebih lagi""Khan gue udah bilang, kalo gue gak bisa ya gak bisa...""Jangan coba paksa gue, gue muak kalo dibilang begitu, gue gak kayak eloe...". Pernah tahu apa akibatnya ? Akibatnya adalah anda akan dipertanyakan oleh Tuhan, mungkin aja seperti ini," SetahuKu, Aku menciptakanmu dengan kemampuan berkembang yang tinggi sesuai dengan talentamu masing - masing. Kenapa engkau meragukan pekerjaanKu ?" Yup, memang benar. Anda diciptakan unik dengan talenta masing - masing. Talenta yang diberikan adalah sebuah kewajiban untuk dikembangkan sebesar-besarnya, bukan untuk disimpan sendiri.

Sadar atau tidak, sebetulnya Tuhan menciptakan manusia semua sebagai Warrior. Anda semua pasti sering mendengar atau bahkan melihat proses pembentukan manusia dari pertemuan sel sperma dan sel telur sampai kelahiran. Semua itu adalah perjuangan, seperti kita sama - sama ketahui banyak yang gagal dilahirkan. Apalagi dengan kondisi lingkungan belakangan ini, perjuangan untuk bertahan dalam kandungan menjadi semakin keras perjuangannya. Kelahiran berawal dari impian yang dikalikan dengan cinta untuk meneruskan keturunan sekaligus melimpahkan kasih sayang Tuhan yang selama ini berlimpah kita dapatkan.

Seharusnya setelah melewati semua itu, jiwa Warrior telah terdapat dalam diri manusia sejak dari awal. Tetapi seiring dengan waktu, Anda pun tumbuh kembang menjadi remaja lalu dewasa. Dalam perjalanan tersebut, Anda menerima berbagai masukkan, positif maupun negatif. Berbagai keberhasilan, berbagai kegagalan menjadi bahan tambahan kedewasaan Anda. Semua akan memberikan banyak tanggapan, memuji atau mencela anda. Anda punya pilihan, membiarkan kedewasaan Anda bertumbuh sebagai Warrior atau bertumbuh sebagai seorang pecundang. Warrior adalah pejuang yang tidak kenal kata menyerah, " No retreat, No Surrender". Kegagalan atau kekalahan tidak akan menghentikan Warrior untuk maju terus. Pecundang akan menganggap kegagalan adalah akhir dari perjuangannya.

Seberapa Warrior-kah Anda ? Saya yakin Anda semua adalah Warrior, tetapi belum sepenuhnya sadar akan hal itu. Ambil waktu singkat malam ini, cari tempat yang tenang, hindari gangguan apapun. Pejamkan mata Anda dan kunjungi lagi kehidupan Anda waktu demi waktu. Anda akan melihat, semua telah Anda lalui untuk mencapai kehidupan Anda sekarang. Kegagalan ? Pernahkah itu menghentikan Anda ? Anda yang mengetahui jawabannya. Sekarang, bayangkan tentang kehidupan yang Anda inginkan, yang ideal untuk Anda. Sudahkah Anda mulai untuk memperjuangkannya ? Masihkah Anda di jalur yang tepat ?

Seberapa Warrior-kah Anda ? Jawabannya tergantung pada sampai dimana dan sebesar apa Impian Anda yang sebenarnya. Dan tentu saja, Jawabannya Anda yang tentukan.

Salam Warrior,

Anton Karya
SalesForce Motivator
http://antonkarya.blogspot.com
0818922388 / 021-32122188

Relationship Corner by Dr. Gary Chapman - Married and Miserable

What is the state of your marriage? Can you identify with this wife? “My husband and I have been married for 17 years. We don't believe in divorce, but our marriage is miserable. We have some big problems that we've never been able to resolve. We need help.”

I later discovered that this wife was married to an alcoholic husband who was also irresponsible in his work. Is there hope for their marriage? I believe there is, if she is willing to take the steps of tough love. Tough love holds the spouse accountable for negative behavior. To accept such behavior or even to argue over it does not improve the situation. Tough love offers hope.

Seek the Lord
There is hope for desperate marriages, and you must first of all adopt a positive attitude. You must agree that God is still in the business of changing lives and say, “Father, I know there is an answer to our problems. Show me the next step.” This focus on seeking solutions will lead you to answers.

A Powerful Influence
Can things change? Can spouses change? Can you help stimulate that change? Yes! Your most powerful influence is love. First, soft or tender love, like learning to speak your spouse's love language. Second is tough love, which says, “I love you too much to sit here and do nothing while you destroy our marriage.”

What are Your Options?
True or false? When you are in a desperate marriage, there are only two options – resign yourself to a life of misery, or get out. False! Many couples accept the commonly held idea that they should get out and start over, or just accept the fact that they'll live in misery forever. I want to suggest that there is a third option: Let God use you as a positive change agent in your marriage. You cannot make your spouse change, but you can positively influence your spouse. Most of us underestimate the power of influence.

Make a Request
The fact is, change is inevitable. Your marriage will either get better or worse. You can be a positive change agent in the hand of God for making it better. It starts by turning to God for His wisdom and power. He really does care about your marriage. Let God change your attitude and your heart, so you can be a part of the solution rather than a part of the problem.

There are five love languages. What's yours? Take the 30-second quiz.

Excerpt taken from Desperate Marriages by Dr. Gary Chapman. To find out more about Gary Chapman's resources, visit www.fivelovelanguages.com.

Salesmanship By Zig Ziglar - Words Can Make A Difference

As a youngster I heard a little rhyme which said, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me." That's untrue. Words can give us hope and encouragement, or they can break our spirits and dash our hopes.

It has been said that one picture is worth ten thousand words, but the person who said that had obviously never read the Bill of Rights, the Declaration of Independence or the 23rd Psalm. They'd never read Lincoln's "Gettysburg Address," or the impassioned pleas of Martin Luther King, Winston Churchill or Patrick Henry. Those words changed the course of history and gave individuals and nations a hope for a better future.

Charles Osgood says, "Compared to the spoken word, a picture is a pitiful thing indeed." For example, a father who was attending a three-day seminar with his teenage son stood up and, for the first time in the boy's memory, said, "I love you, Son, and I'm proud of you." A joyous, tear-filled coming together was the result of that father uttering those words. Yes, our words have awesome power.

In the business community, a service representative could respond to a question by saying, "I'll have to get back to you with the answer," or "I'll be happy to get back to you with the answer." In describing a friend someone could say, "She is a bright, attractive, ambitious, hard-working woman, but she wears glasses." The connotation is obviously negative. They could say, "She is a bright, attractive, ambitious, hard-working woman and she wears glasses." What a difference one word can make!

Yes, the changing of words changes the thought. Thought leads us into either positive or negative action. Needless to say, the right words produce the right thoughts which produce the right action which produce good results. Think about it. Use the right words and I'll SEE YOU AT THE TOP!

Zig Ziglar is a motivator and teacher. He is the author of 26 books and loved by millions of people world wide for his practical wisdom and his gift of hope.

Salesmanship By Zig Ziglar - Problems vs. Opportunities

Are they problems or opportunities? The late Dr. Norman Vincent Peale accurately observed that the only people without problems are those in the cemetery. Then, with a twinkle in his eye, he would say, "and who knows - maybe they have more problems than ever!"

In your world today, if you didn't have problems, you would have few - if any - chances for substantial growth. In your present job, you can rest assured that if there were no problems, you either (a) would not be there or (b) you would be working for less money.

Our natural tendency is to look at the people who are running a company or organization and envy them. They drive a nicer car, live in a bigger home, and have a lifestyle that we can only covet. We even labor under the illusion that the problems they do have are far less serious than our own. It is true that in many cases they do not have significant financial problems, but they have problems that, for them, are just as serious.

Example: Jim Norman, who was once the C.E.O. of our company, is the picture of the calm, cool and collected executive. I can tell you, however, that he regularly encounters problems (opportunities) of considerable magnitude which must be expediently dealt with. His ability to handle these problems played a major role in the success of our company. His problems were much greater than those of other staff members. But he is able to handle large problems today because he learned to handle a succession of smaller problems along the way. The conclusion is obvious: If you want to move up, learn to deal with the problems of your own job successfully and you'll be given more and bigger problems to handle. The more successfully you handle the bigger problems, the higher you're going to go - so, become a problem-solver and I'll SEE YOU AT THE TOP!

Zig Ziglar is a motivator and teacher. He is the author of 26 books and loved by millions of people world wide for his practical wisdom and his gift of hope.