Relationship Corner by Dr. Gary Chapman - Trouble in Paradise Part 2 of 2

Keeping Love Alive
Last week we talked about bringing two lives together in harmony. Keep your love alive after the honeymoon. There will be times in your relationship where, instead of sharing your feelings and trying to resolve differences, you'll be tempted to ask yourself, “Why bother?” Don’t make that mistake. Maintaining communication with your spouse will take patience and persistence.

Never assume that silence or indifference is preferable to conflict. It’s not. As long as you and your spouse are interacting and trying to resolve your differences, there’s hope. When you stop talking, hope dies. Keep your relationship on the front burner. Neglect your relationship and you'll poison your intimacy. It is by talking and listening that we learn to work together as a team, and that’s what a growing marriage is all about.

Which Wedges Divide You and Your Spouse?
Get rid of potential wedges in your relationship. A relationship wedge is anything that has the potential to drive you and your spouse apart. The first and most dangerous wedge is pride--specifically, the pride that keeps you from apologizing. Pride turns simple misunderstandings into long-term problems.

Other potential wedges include negative input from friends and family, overbooked schedules, and indifference. You probably won’t be able to remove all the wedges from your relationship, but you can remove enough to give your love a chance to grow.

Another way to create a better climate is to look for positive things in your spouse. Your spouse may have traits and hidden talents that you knew nothing about before you were married. Look for these things and compliment your spouse. You can create a better atmosphere if you use positive words. Find the goodness in your spouse and proclaim it loudly, especially in front of other people.

There are five love languages. What's yours? Take the 30-second quiz.

Excerpt taken from The World's Easiest Guide to Family Relationships by Dr. Gary Chapman, with Randy Southern. To find out more about Gary Chapman's resources, visit www.fivelovelanguages.com.