Do you really feel loved by your spouse? Does your spouse feel loved by you? If not, then perhaps it is because you've never learned to speak each others' primary love language. There are only five, and each of us has one that speaks to us more deeply than the others. What are these five love languages and how do you discover your primary language? Which of these makes you feel most loved?
Words of affirmation - using words that express appreciation.
Quality time - giving the person your undivided attention.
Receiving Gifts - a gift says, “They were thinking of me.”
Acts of Service - doing something that you know the person would like for you to do.
Physical touch - tender, loving touch.
What Hurts?
What makes you feel most loved by your spouse? What do you desire above all else? If the answer to these questions does not leap to your mind, perhaps it will help to look at the negative use of the love languages. What does your spouse do or say that hurts you deeply? If your deepest pain is the critical words of your spouse, then perhaps your love language is 'Words of Affirmation.'
What Do I Request?
Another approach to discovering your primary love language is to ask, “What have I most often requested of my spouse?” One wife said, “When I asked that question, my love language became obvious. I have requested 'Quality Time'. Over and over again, I have asked him if we could take a walk together, or just turn the TV off for one hour and talk. I have felt neglected and unloved because seldom did he ever respond to my request.”
Keep Learning!
What do I complain about the most? What do I request most often? How do I normally show my love to others? Answer these three questions and you will know your love language. Turn them around and you can discover the love language of your spouse.
One of our deepest desires is to feel that we are genuinely loved by our spouse. The key to meeting each others' need for love is to learn what really makes the other person feel loved, and do it regularly. If you don’t speak each others' primary love language, you may be sincere in speaking the others, but your spouse will not feel loved. Review the five love languages listed above.
Excerpt taken from The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate by Gary Chapman. To find out more about Gary Chapman's resources, visit www.fivelovelanguages.com.
submitted by
Anton Karya
SalesForce Motivator
http://www.antonkarya.co.cc
0818922388 / 021-32122188
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