Relationship Corner by Dr. Gary Chapman - Understanding Marital Intimacy

We did not get married in order to find a convenient way to cook meals, wash dishes, do laundry, and rear children. We married out of a deep desire to love and to be loved, to live life together, believing that together we could experience life more deeply than apart.

How can we experience this? Let's look at the five essential components of an intimate relationship: sharing our thoughts (intellectual intimacy), discussing our feelings (emotional intimacy), spending time with each other (social intimacy), opening our souls to each other (spiritual intimacy), and sharing our bodies (physical intimacy).

Intellectual Intimacy
From the moment we arise in the morning, our minds are active. Intimacy requires that we share some of our thoughts with each other. I am not talking about only highly intellectual thoughts; they may just be ones focused on finances, food, or health. When two minds link, they build intellectual intimacy.

Emotional Intimacy
The sharing of feelings also builds emotional intimacy. Be willing to say “I’m feeling a lot of fear right now,” or “I am really happy tonight.” In making such statements, we are choosing to be intimate with our spouses, to reveal to them what's going on in our emotional world. Learning to talk about emotions can be one of the most rewarding experiences of life.

Social Intimacy
Social intimacy has to do with spending time together around the events of life. As I share these events with my spouse, our horizons are broadened. Another part of social intimacy involves the two of us doing things together, alone or with others. A picnic in the park or even on the deck can add excitement to an otherwise drab day. The things we do together form some of our most vivid memories, and they also build social intimacy.

Spiritual Intimacy
Spiritual intimacy is often the least developed of all the intimacies of a marriage, yet it has a profound impact upon all other areas. It is fostered not only by verbal communication, but also by shared experience. One wife said, “There is something about experiencing worship together that gives me a sense of closeness to my husband. We hold hands during the prayers. We share with each other what we liked about the service.” Intimacy flourishes as we share our spiritual journey. Next week, we will discuss physical intimacy.

There are five love languages. What's yours? Take the 30-second quiz.

Excerpt taken from The Family You've Always Wanted: Five Ways You Can Make it Happen by Dr. Gary Chapman. To find out more about Gary Chapman's resources, visit www.fivelovelanguages.com.

Apa itu Warrior Ways sih Anton Karya ?

Pagi semua,

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Living The Warrior Ways adalah sebuah perenungan mendalam tentang apa kunci untuk punya PASSION alias Warrior Spirit yang berkesinambungan sampai akhir perjalanan hidup...Membagikan kebenaran pentingnya RELATIONSHIP, LEADERSHIP dan SALESMANSHIP...Hah ? Salesmanship ? Kaget ? Jualan ? Yup, siapa yang gak menjual di dunia ? Itu salah satu pondasi hidup Boss...

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So, buat pilihan apakah Anda mau menjalani hidup sebagai Warrior atau yang lain ? Keputusan ditangan Anda semua Boss...

Salam Warrior,

Anton Karya
Messenger of The Warrior Ways System
http://www.antonkarya.co.cc
02132122188 / 0818922388

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device from XL GPRS network

Salesmanship Corner By Zig Ziglar - Work Ethic

One of my pet peeves is hearing movie stars or millionaire athletes warn young people to get an education or end up "flipping hamburgers." The bottom line is that many young people opt to do nothing. Even worse, others deal drugs or live off their parents or the "system" instead of doing honest work.

Think about it. It's infinitely better to "flip hamburgers" and make minimum wage than to make "maximum wage" dealing drugs or getting involved in other forms of crime. As a society, we need to rediscover the value of honest work in the character formation of our young people. Instead of disparaging remarks about "flipping hamburgers," we need to become cheerleaders for our hard-working young people who are willing to do whatever it takes to reach their goals.

Our company does a lot of training in the fast-food industry. I personally know many young men and women who have earned their educations as a direct result of working in the fast-food industry. They have either earned enough money for college through working or have been awarded scholarships by their fast-food employers. Surely no thinking person would look down on any job with such obvious social value.

The opportunities for advancement within the fast-food industry are significant. Young people can move up to management rather quickly. In addition, many of them learn responsibility, social skills and how to function as a team player. They also learn how to manage money and, equally important, to respect money. They learn discipline, manners, enthusiasm and dependability. Best of all, according to USA Today, students who work up to twenty hours each week do better academically than their non-working peers.

All of these are benefits. Let's not criticize any job that is honest and can lead to even better things. Buy this idea and I'll SEE YOU AT THE TOP!

Zig Ziglar is a motivator and teacher. He is the author of 26 books and loved by millions of people world wide for his practical wisdom and his gift of hope.

Relationship Corner by Dr. Gary Chapman - Living with an Irresponsible Spouse

When we enter marriage, we assume we are marrying a responsible person. We know that our roles will be somewhat different, but we each assume that our spouse will use his mind, skills, and energy for our mutual benefit. When it seems apparent that our spouse is not the responsible person we thought we married, we feel hurt, angry, and often agitated.

Our response is influenced by our personality. If I am by nature a “controller”, I will deliver anger lectures about irresponsibility. If I am a “peacemaker”, then I may suffer in silence. Neither of these approaches is very productive. The first step in becoming a positive influence on your irresponsible spouse is to identify the problem behind the behavior.

Behind the Behavior
Let’s assume that your husband has little ambition. He won’t work. He shows no interest in fathering or being a husband. What lies behind this? Let me suggest four possibilities:

1. He may be following the model of his father. He is simply doing what seems natural to him.
2. He may be rebelling against the model of his father. His father was a workaholic. As a child he decided that work was bad, and so consciously or unconsciously he is rebelling.
3. He has developed a self-centered attitude. He is a taker, not a giver.
4. His irresponsible behavior may be an expression of his resentment toward you. Whatever you want, he will move in the opposite direction. His needs are not met and this is his way of expressing it.

Understanding what is behind your husband’s irresponsible behavior will help you choose a positive approach to addressing the problem.

Your Responsibility
Positive action begins by examining your own behavior to see how you might be contributing to your spouse’s irresponsibility. Acknowledge your own imperfections. Ask for suggestions on how you can be a better spouse. If you're going to be a positive change agent, you must change the emotional climate.

A Small Request
Once your spouse gives positive feedback, you know you are getting through to them on an emotional level. Now it is time to make a request of them. “Do you know what I would really like? I would like for us to have a picnic. If I make the sandwiches, would you pack the drinks?” A small but specific request. If your spouse responds positively, you are on the road to seeing more requests honored. As they respond, you begin to feel loved. You can continue to influence them in a positive direction.

There are five love languages. What's yours? Take the 30-second quiz.

Excerpt taken from Desperate Marriages by Dr. Gary Chapman. To find out more about Gary Chapman's resources, visit www.fivelovelanguages.com.