Belajar Memahami Kebutuhan...

Bro & Sis,

Saya barusan mendapatkan artikel bagus dari salah satu mentor saya DR. Gary Chapman, pengarang buku "Lima Bahasa Kasih", berikut adalah cuplikannya, selamat menikmati

Learning to Meet Needs

It has been my observation through the years that many husbands simply do not understand the needs of their wives. Conversely, many wives do not understand the needs of their husbands. The fact is, we all have needs. This is part of what motivates us to get married. When these needs are not met over a period of time, we tend to get irritable. Irritation brings criticism and criticism brings counter-attack. So, we find ourselves fighting rather than seeking to meet needs.

Solid Foundations
The husband who is satisfied with simply putting food on the table has a very limited view of the importance of his role as husband. The wife who is satisfied with cooking that food has a very limited view of the importance of her role as wife. Food is important, but it is only foundational. We have needs for love, affection, tenderness, kindness, and encouragement. These are as foundational to our emotional health as food is to our physical health.

Security System
One of our most fundamental emotional needs is the need for security. The greatest security need is the need for the deep assurance that your spouse is committed to you. We need to communicate to each other that whatever happens, we are with them. If there are disagreements, we will take time to listen, understand, and seek resolution. “If you are hurting, I want to be there for you.” These are the commitments that create a secure atmosphere in which to grow a healthy marriage.

Kind Words
All of us have the need for significance or self-worth. In marriage we are called upon to encourage each other in our pursuits for significance. Ultimately our self-worth is rooted in who we are, children of God by faith in Christ. As children of God we are all uniquely gifted. As we express these gifts or abilities under the direction of the Holy Spirit, we experience satisfaction. Positive comments about your spouse’s efforts to explore their interests and giftedness is a way to help meet their need for significance. Critical comments diminish self-worth. Look for ways to encourage your spouse.

Social Support
Wherever man is found, he is a social creature. He relates to others. Marriage does not diminish this need to relate to those outside the family. The wife may wish to be a part of a ladies’ civic club. The husband should seek to encourage her involvement. In so doing he is helping meet her social needs. In helping each other develop social relationships, we are enhancing their growth as a person. In a healthy marriage, social relationships are seen as a normal part of life. When we seek to meet each others needs we are building a strong marriage..

Excerpt taken from Five Signs of a Loving Family by Dr. Gary Chapman. To find out more about Gary Chapman's resources, visit www.fivelovelanguages.com.